I thought I’d add some Achmed The Terrorist Quotes, as I know some people have been asking for them, so enjoy the funny one liners below.

When asked how he got through security, Achmed replies by saying “Hi, I’m Lindsay Lohan” which obviously hits a few raw nerves and a few more laughter points too”

When Achmed realises he is ACTUALLY a dead terrorist he then scans the audience and says “Where are my 72 virgins? If this is heaven then I’m screwed because there are some ugly ass guys out there“.

When Achmed is asked what kind of a Terrorist he is, he replies with “I’m a terrifying terrorist” which is swiftly followed by several darting glances and eye brow raising from him as he looks at the audience, inducing them into fits of laughter.

At one point Achmed is made aware that he has no skin or organs, in fact he is mainly just a skeleton.  Jeff says “You’re just all bones“.  To which Achmed shrugs, saying that it’s “just a flesh wound“.

Those are some of the best quotes that I personally like that Achmed uses with Jeff during their routines.  I’m sure there must be some more.

Oh yeah…

“Silence!  I Kill You!”

and

“Good Evening.. Infidel”

and

“I Kill you!”

also:

“HOLY CRAP!!”

and some more Achmed quotes:

“Saddam’s mustard gas was nothing compared to a Walter fart.”

“Are you my virgins?”

and:

“Knock Knock, who’s there? I kill you.”

Plus:

“Wait I can have Clay Aiken?”

And finally:
“I would not kill the Jews, I would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death.”

I hope that “small yet comprehensive” list was enough to whet your appetite – enjoy!

More Achmed The Terrorist stuff below: